Notes from Karen's animation session on Wed, 5/3

Shot 1

Maybe starting point can be closer and girl & grandma can walk more slowly and solemnly.

Use pause at end of shot 1 to show that the elders are doing something

 


Shot 2

Her head doesn't have to turn that much when looking at grandmother. Can turn her eyes.

Maybe glance at elders around her, but as quick glances with the eyes, subtly, and quietly.

As girl and grandmother walk in, the elder on right side of screen is already sculpting clay. This could start in scene one to show what they're doing.

Maybe grandmother starts kneeling first, but goes slower. Granddaughter hesitates and takes a little time before she starts, but kneels faster once she starts, so they could sit down at the same time.

Eventually she has to look at elder to her left to go into shot 3.

 


Shot 3

It is very important in this shot to clearly see what they are doing.

Have the foreground elder be the first putting clay back in the cubbyhole. That elder could start leaning forward and putting clay forward in last shot. If there's time, the first elder should start leaning back before second elder moves forward

Clay should be gently placed in the cubbyholes.

If the second elder works on clay on ground, he/she should be moved back a little bit, then she could pick up clay from ground, lean forward, and put it in.

The first elder could turn and look at grand daughter, but the audience may not know what the elder is looking at. Could have girl's head in the foreground.

However, if elders were looking at her, welcoming her, it would kill the effect of girl feeling isolated and cut off from the ceremony, which would encourage her to run away. Could save the elders looking at her at the end, when she returns.

 


Shot 4

Have the amulet appear brighter, highlighting their importance?

Change in focus, and layout is good.

She could be looking at the grandfather while moving her hand up slowly, subconsciously reaching for the necklace. So when the focus goes on her, she doesn't suddenly move her hand and look at the amulet. So hand moves up, accelerates, and slows down before touching the amulet. This movement is important.

Don't blur the trees too much, so when girl comes in focus, the trees focus a little more.

Maybe start out with girl's hands on her knees?

Expression: peaceful, not crying

Grandmother on girl's right (our left) is still sculpting her clay.

Girl could close her eyes, look up, and take a deep breath.

 

Shot 5

Have just the amulet on screen for a bit, and then let it park on screen, and then have the clay be brought up slowly, just enough into the screen to show. Maybe squish the clay a little bit.

Change lighting, slight focal change, or one hand subconsciously move away as she looks at different hands.

Thumb looks like another finger when extended.

Need to show amulet well to link to river scene.

When the amulet is picked up and looked at by the girl, it is viewed up-side-down and tree shapes can be seen.

Right hand just drops down a bit, moves to the right to make way for the left hand when bringing up the clay. Not much movement is needed.

 

Shot 6

Girl's head goes into top edge of screen as she stands up, but in real life, that's not too tall

Don't really need much of the moving hand back and forth.

Grandma is still working on her piece of clay. Elder on the right is done, now meditating.

What's girl's mood? Being angry of clay because it's an acceptance of grandpa's death? The elders not being comforting?

Grandma could put her hand to the girl's clay, or look at the girl with a disapproving look, and upset the girl. Or elders could just be really absorbed in what they do and not acknowledge her, emphasizing on isolation.

After the girl runs away, the elders could look at each other's eyes, with just a slight turn in faces, and acknowledges that the girl will be okay, without smiling. Possible a nod, or just simple eye contact?